“My dad is driving me crazy!” Linda spoke of her 97-year-old dad. Maybe some of you can relate.
Linda and her brother called themselves “ Dad’s on-call assisted living support team.” She might be immersed in a project at work when “Eldercare Alert” sounded, otherwise known as Dad’s cell phone. She got his panic calls several times a day. So did her brother. She said “It was also possible we’d both get a call over the same issue, so we have to circle back and get things clarified.”
Dad’s needs and issues varied from day to day, with several themes running through: an eyelash stuck in the eye, constipation, food issues, medication issues. On the good days, including 3 days before Christmas last year, Linda said Dad was a delight. But there were the not-so-good days, too, often related to his refusal to take Zoloft for anxiety. He’ll take the medication for a week or two and drop it like a hot potato later, much to the dismay of his children who suffer through his negativity.
In one of our phone calls, Linda asked Joy, “Do you have any advice for me?”
Joy said something only a friend would say to a friend. And her words ring true: “Find a friend who you trust totally. One who you can whine to. Whine as much as you need to. When you’re done, you’ll feel better.” I agree.